Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
