I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
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