I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize