When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Randomize
