Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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