He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
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