Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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