why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
