I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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