dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
