You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
