i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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