tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
How naked do you want me to be?
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
