we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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