omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
