Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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