Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
