you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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