Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Randomize
