Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
