We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
