They should really pass out barf bags in church
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
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