the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
