I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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