I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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