that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
I just googled if crying burns calories
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
