my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Randomize
