ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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