Me too!
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize
