In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize