I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
either way he was missing a nipple.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
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