having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
At least life still wants to fuck me.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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