I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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