I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
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