IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
sex in a hospital.. check
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
