i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize