My room smells like vodka and shame
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
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