I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
tell your sister to shave her snatch
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
