so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Randomize
