I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
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