It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
