My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
