she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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