I think I died a long time ago.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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