just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
