doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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