youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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