They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Randomize
