I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Randomize
