Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Randomize
