I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
This is the high leading the old right now
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I am naked and annoyed.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
