i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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