Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize