Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Randomize
