eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
