I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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