I'm laying in your front yard are you home
and you said cock pushups were impossible
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
