Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Randomize
