The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Randomize
