gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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